Sometimes, forgiveness means accepting the humanity of the person you’re trying to forgive. Being human means to have choices, which means as humans we can choose to be wonderful and magnificent, or we can choose to be cruel, horrific and “inhuman.” So…your words to this person (spoken in your mind) would be, “I accept you as a human being with the freedom to make choices, just like me. I don’t like your choices, but I won’t hurt myself by continuing to condemn you. I accept your humanness, and I give you my permission to be exactly whom and what you are.”
William DeFoore, PH.D.